Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Friday, August 31, 2007

Another fried day

Snippets and scraps again on this steamy hot August Friday evening (or Saturday, for those in other parts of the world)…

Another Dean (this one not a hurricane)
Mega-bestselling author
Dean Koontz, whose quirky suspense novels have sold circles around those of most of the New-Wage/selfish-help gurus, takes some pretty good potshots at the New-Wage industry in his 2003 novel, The Face. In this novel, protagonist Ethan Truman, an ex-cop who’s now security chief for a famous movie star, teams up with his former partner Lester "Hazard" Yancy to foil a possible kidnapping and murder plot against Ethan's employer. Several murders have already been committed that seem related to their case, and the two men have some strong clues that the brains behind these murders, as well as the dastardly plot against the film star, is a local college professor. They’re just not certain which professor. One of the profs they track down turns out not to be the murderer, but something infinitely more annoying: a professional hustledork.

The professor who had organized the one-day seminar on publicity and self-promotion was Dr. Robert Vebbler. He preferred to be called Dr. Bob, as he was known on the motivational-speaking circuit, where he promised to turn ordinary, self-doubting men and women into doubt-free dynamos of self-interest and superhuman achievement.

Ethan and Hazard found the professor on the mostly deserted campus, in his office, preparing for a January speaking tour. The walls of the two-room space were papered with portrait posters of Dr. Bob in a size popularized by Joseph Stalin and Mao Tse-tung.

He had a shaved head, a handlebar mustache, a red-bronze tan that established his contempt for melanoma, and laser-whitened teeth brighter than irradiated piano keys...

…Dr. Bob managed so successfully to turn the answer to every question into a mini-lecture on self-esteem that Ethan wanted Hazard to arrest him on charges of felony cliché and practicing philosophy without an idea.

(That last bit sure sounds like a lot of those Secret stars, doesn’t it? Such as this one…)

Ethan and Hazard soon conclude that Dr. Bob is not their man:

He was just as quacky as Donald Duck, but he was no more a murderer than was that excitable mallard. He hungered to be famous, not infamous. Donald had on occasion attempted to kill Chip and Dale, that pair of pesky chipmunks, but Dr. Bob would instead motivate them to give up their rodent ways and become successful entrepreneurs.

God…I mean Prime Source…has some political advice
You may have thought the Creator of the Universe was solely on the side of the religious right. But it turns out He/She/It is a Democrat, and not only that, He/She/It names names when it comes to telling us who the good guys and gals are.

I just received this info from Extreme Lightworker Bryan James via my favorite New-Wage spam service. Bryan is the dad of two Indigo kids and is also the owner of Circle of Lights, whose mission, he says, "is to provide support for Lightworkers and their families, through state-of-the-art services and products that enhance their Light and prepare them for greater service to the planet, our universe and all creation. Our goal is to help create a critical mass of higher frequency energy that will raise the planet's vibration and lead all creation into the New Age."

Anyway, Bryan had a very important message from Prime Source (or "God" to you unenlightened souls) regarding a US politician:

Prime Source says: "It is important that we provide support for those who are supporting the ascension process on Earth. We can do this by establishing contact with them through our Higher Selves as we offer our hearts to them.

"As we draw closer to the end, we will raise up several who will lead you to ascension. They will help prepare the Earth and your society for the changes that will come. One such person is Nancy Pelosi. She will be working very closely with us as we move your planet forward to the next level. Please support her all you can."

All-righty, then! Bryan does not say what it is about Nancy Pelosi that is so vibrationally advanced, or what she is doing to aid in the Earth's ascension, or, for that matter, what we need to be doing to support her, so I guess you're on your own there. I just thought I'd pass the news along.

By the way, Bryan adds that the Nether Worlds Reclamation Project, in which souls stuck in Hell are being rescued and taken home, is still going well. According to Bryan, "…over 100,000 souls are now being rescued, rehabilitated and sent home every day. Please continue to send your Light, prayers and best wishes for the full recovery of the remaining souls currently undergoing treatment."

Lately, though, he hasn’t been encouraging the rest of us to go to Hell ourselves to help out, nor does he provide instructions on how to do so, as he once did. My guess is that the Holy Mother and Bryan had so many eager volunteers for their rescue effort that the place got way too crowded and chaotic. Or maybe they had too many folks who were merely claiming to have made the trip in order to get the free prize Bryan was offering (a chakra acceleration or something like that), but they had no way to substantiate that the claimants really had been to Hell and back, so the volunteer program was cancelled. Or maybe Bryan just got tired of my making fun of his project. (You see, it’s always all about me. I’m a narcissist, after all.)

Pro bonehead
It’s not enough that the New Wage has infiltrated the once pristine arena of politics; it is also seeping into the noble profession of law. I received an email ad from a pleasant looking fellow named Duane Light, a "California-licensed
Holistic Lawyer and spiritual life coach with almost 20 years experience." Duane "offers spiritually-based coaching to Light-minded people throughout the US."

Here’s what he says, in part, about his holistic legal coaching and consulting:

As a Coach I help you analyze your situation and support you to clear emotionally, find your highest guidance, and plan the best way forward to implement your values. As a consultant I can guide you generally in how the legal system works and how best to navigate it to save time and money and reduce stress.

My first job is to create a safe and confidential space where everything that you say, and all that you are, is held in compassion and confidentiality, and then to deeply listen. I aim to be your trusted advisor, friend and guide, to help you to move through whatever situation you have with your highest values intact and your heart open.

…I work with my clients to find the highest possible outcome for all involved.

If that doesn’t sound like your cup of legal tea, there’s always Houston-based Simmons & Fletcher, "the Christian trial lawyers." Speaking of which… oh, darn, I just missed the Christian Trial Lawyers Association "Major League Trial Tactics" seminar in my fair city. Apparently it took place last week, and Ken Starr, a true Christian lawyer if there ever was one, was the featured speaker. Oh, well...there's always next year.

Scientist Bob: take note!
My friend
Tony Michalski pointed out an intriguing web site for people who are interested in quantum physics – the kind that is taught by real scientists, that is, not the kind they teach in The Secret and What The Bleep?!?

"When Bob Proctor and the gang can claim they've done what is listed on this web page, THEN and ONLY THEN can they talk about quantum physics," Tony wrote, adding, "And that goes for Rhonda and Ramtha and anyone else." Tony, by the way, is currently making his way through The Road To Reality: A Complete Guide to the Laws of the Universe, by Roger Penrose. Which makes me feel like sort of an intellectual slacker for reading Dean Koontz, but there you are.

Blair Warren, who was in on the conversation, jokingly responded, "Nice try, Tony, but I don’t see a single book by [he named a few bestselling New-Wage gurus] or any other ‘real’ physicists on that list. How is all that pseudo-science going to ‘attract’ any wealth to us at all? I thought we were all looking for scams. This is no help at all."

To which Tony replied: "How about a course entitled ‘How to Use Super-Gravity and Super Symmetry to Lead a Super-Empowered Life!’? Or ‘You are Quantum ... Hear You ROAR!’ Or ‘How the Hyperbolic Nature of Space- Time Can Bring You Money, Cars, AND Even the Girl of Your Dreams.’

"How could you NOT see those possibilities?"

The thing is, Tony… some of the New-Wage gurus are already offering things like that. So, I’m sorry, but I think we’re going to have to look beyond the quantum world if we want to come up with a truly original scam.

Well, that’s it for now… it’s been a long day, and The Rev and I have a busy weekend ahead of us. See y'all soon!

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Reflecting on self-esteem

Lately I've been running across that "self-esteem" graphic depicting a cute little kitten gazing at itself in a mirror and beholding the face of a lion. You probably know the one I mean. I've seen this pic on various blog posts, web sites, and discussion forums, and in those emails that well-meaning friends forward to you and everyone else they've ever known or might possibly know at some undetermined time in the future. The caption on the graphic reads, "What matters most is how you see yourself." These days it is nearly as omnipresent as that poster of the cute little kitten hanging precariously from a tree limb, with the caption, "Hang In There!" That one is supposed to serve as encouragement for people who are having hard times. Depending upon the problem, if I were having hard times I'd much prefer money or some Xanax to a picture of a cute little kitty in a tree, but that's just me.


As for the self-esteem poster, I have a few problems with this whole kitten-and-lion thing. To begin with, it clearly implies that the lion is somehow superior to felis domesticus. Don't you dare try suggesting anything like that to the lap lions who live in my household. They may be smaller in stature than a lion, and lacking in a mane, and they may not be able to scarf down an entire gazelle in one sitting, but they are a lot more useful and, I imagine, considerably less messy than felis leo. Not only are they experts in stalking, catching, and killing those rat-sized roaches we have here in the semi-tropics – a feat which a lion would probably think was beneath its dignity – but let's face it: a lion would require an awfully large litter box. And I have enough trouble keeping the little litter boxes clean, despite the fact that I have told all of y'all about my problem and have asked you repeatedly to do some Ho'oponopono cleaning on the problem. Not that I'm getting after you or anything. I'm just saying.

Second of all, the poster does not depict a very desirable scenario.
Think about it. Most cats already have an inflated sense of self-worth without seeing themselves as lions. No matter how much you adore your own cats (and I dearly love mine), you know I'm right. Can you imagine how intolerable they'd be if they literally thought they were big cats?

Third of all, the whole scenario
isn't even very realistic. Your average itty-bitty kitty would almost certainly turn tail and run to the nearest closet if it happened to be looking in a mirror and a big lion-face suddenly appeared.

So forgive me if I am a bit less than inspired by the picture of Fluffy and the King of Beasts. I can identify with the staring-in-the-mirror part of the message, but that's about it for me.

However, I am not going to leave you uninspired. My good friend Dr. Lar Jeego,* Guerrilla Motivator®, bestselling author, bad poet, and holder of way too many phony university degrees to list here, has created a poster that I found much more inspirational, and that he has kindly given me permission to share with you.

Dr. Lar is the founder of the famous Self-Esteem Boot Camp®, in which people are forced at gunpoint to love themselves. This is part of a technique he invented called Tough Self-Love. Some may feel his methods are rather harsh, but the many thousands of participants in the Boot Camps have found the experience to be life-changing, and only fatal for a very few. Dr. Lar uses such extreme measures, along with traditional means such as talk therapy, role playing, and, of course, mirror work, because he believes that self-esteem is the most important quality we can cultivate. It makes up for a host of other shortcomings, such as lack of intelligence, lack of character, laziness, sociopathy, psychosis, poor hygiene, etc.

Along with the inspiring illustration on his poster, Dr. Lar has thoughtfully included one of his many bad poems. Click on the graphic and you'll get the large version, which is suitable for a wallpaper. It has also been specially infused with powerful properties, so it will "clean" you as you look at it.

But it sure hasn't done much for my litter boxes.

* Whom I just made up

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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Knowledge is power

If you haven't done so already, bookmark Uncyclopedia, surely one of the most authoritative and trustworthy sources for misinformation on the Internet or anywhere else. Need some fact-like fillers or something that looks like substantiation of your ideas for that phony-doctoral dissertation, news magazine cover story, or blog post? Or do you just want to broaden and deepen your lack of knowledge about history, philosophy, science, the arts, politics, current events, and a host of other matters of consequence? Uncyclopedia will most likely have what you need. Every article is unscreened for accuracy by a panel of experts in the appropriate field, and most of the articles even have references and footnotes.


And Uncyclopedia is also a Goddess-send for the do-it-yourselfer. My friend Blair Warren was tooling around Uncyclopedia and discovered one of the most useful – and potentially life-changing – articles I've ever seen anywhere. Follow its advice, and you will receive wealth beyond belief.

Are you ready?

Click here for the article that will change your life.

You don't have to thank me.

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Monday, August 27, 2007

Just another Monday snipefest

It's a busy Monday so I'll just serve up snippets again today...

Logic eludes me (and so, apparently, does success)
This past week a couple of bloggers, beginning with my pal Jody at
Guruphiliac, linked to my piece, "The Wrath Of The Secretrons." This piece was first published on the Committee For Skeptical Inquiry (Skeptical Inquirer) web site in late March; I announced its publication on my March 30 blog post. Now there's a whole new round of interest in the piece, and as a result, I’ve been getting some emails. By far most have been complimentary, though two three people thus far have corrected me on one small point regarding logical fallacies. Under the sub-head, "Projecting backwards," I included a quotation from SHAMblog's Steve Salerno about a posteriori reasoning. I was quoting Steve's Amazon review of The Secret, a review that seemed to be missing in action when I searched for it last night. Anyway, my two three correspondents wrote that what was described as a posteriori reasoning was probably post hoc ergo propter hoc ("before therefore because").

Steve tells me that while this clarification may be technically correct, in popular usage it's a different story, and that most people he knows use the shorthand "a posteriori" to refer (in a casual sense) to the post/ergo/propter fallacy.

In any case, I never claimed that logic or critical thinking were my strong suit, but I do appreciate the clarification and feedback from all. Hey, I’m still learning. (And Steve, if I have in any way misrepresented or misinterpreted your thoughts in my Secretrons article, well, here's some more Latin: Mea culpa.)

My Secretrons article even briefly made the Secret/Powerful Intentions discussion group – though if you click that link you'll see the thread has since been removed. I received a very nice and thoughtful email from one of the members of that forum, who reminded me that not everyone who's a Secret fan is in it for the greed. In other words, not everyone who likes The Secret is a "Secretron."

Some folks elsewhere have apparently had some problems with my article, as indicated in a discussion on Steve Pavlina’s "Personal Development For Smart People" forum. A junior member opened the thread by providing a link to my article and asking for opinions about it. A senior member answered:

It's an interesting article, but the author:

A. Doesn't seem that successful and probably isn't a good source on how to get what you want, whether through the LoA or other conventional means.

B. Doesn't talk about any positive alternatives to the LoA.

At least she doesn't call fans of the Secret "secretards" like some other bloggers I've seen.

To which I can only respond:
A. I’ve never claimed to be "successful," whatever that means.
B. It’s not my job on this blog – nor was it my purpose in writing about my experiences for the CSI piece – to tell other people how to get what they want, or how to be "successful." I’m beginning to feel a bit like the aforementioned Steve Salerno, who has been criticized because his book
SHAM doesn’t offer any solutions to the problems created by our self-help-saturated culture. That wasn't the purpose of his book.

Another person on Steve Pavlina’s forum wrote:

I'm sorry, but there are a few things which the author doesn't understand.

1. You don't just buy a book or DVD about the Law of Attraction and become phenomenally successful overnight. It doesn't work that way. Among other things, you have to learn how to use the Law of Attraction, and that takes time (and practice).

2. The author's point seems to be that the "LOA experts" were not phenomenally successful from Day One. The big hole in her argument is that she doesn't know when the "LOA experts" started using LOA, and what happened thereafter. She is doing the "backward projection" – unfortunately she has no idea which point in time she should project backwards to.

3. The general impression she tries to convey is that the LOA is a nonsensical fad recently invented to achieve widespread success through "viral marketing" - something like that notoriously bad singer William Hung from American Idol some years back. However, LOA isn't a fad - it's been around for a long time, in different forms. It is one of the eight or nine ancient Hindu siddhis (note - it is only one of the eight or nine siddhis (or powers)); you see an early description of LOA in 1932 by Napoleon Hill; while Jane Roberts' Seth talked a lot about the same sort of thing in the 1960s or 1970s except that Seth didn't call it "Law of Attraction"; then in the 1980s and 1990s, you had Abraham Hicks. Extensive descriptions of how "thoughts create reality" and "reality is illusion" etc show up long, long ago in Buddhism.

Condescension duly noted. Let me answer those points one by one:

  1. I have never said, implied, or believed that one can buy a book or DVD and then "become successful overnight." My beef is with the hustledorks who do make those promises or strong implications about near-overnight or easy success – at least when they’re trying to get you to buy their products. Many of the promoters of The Secret are guilty of this tactic. "It’s like having the Universe as your catalog… it’s really that easy!" Sound familiar? Of course, they spend the rest of their time backpedaling and qualifying what they said.
  2. If the writer thinks that my main point (and criticism) about the stars of The Secret is that they were not "phenomenally successful from Day One," then he is missing the point. Or perhaps my writing was not clear enough. What I was trying to say, and have said all along, is that the stars of The Secret have spent a great deal of time and effort saying that LOA – as presented in The Secret – has been the key to their success. But in my experience, they pretty much say that about anything they’re promoting – as I have pointed out numerous times on this blog. And in making my argument, such as it is, I am not engaging in any sort of "backward projection" myself; I don’t need to know when the New-Wage gurus began using LOA or EMF tapping or Ho’oponopono or whatever. I am basing my opinion on the outrageous claims these people make. At the risk of stating (or restating) the obvious… these folks will attribute their stunning success to just about anything as long as there is $omething in it for them.
  3. I have never said or implied that LOA is a recently invented fad, and that was not the point of my article. In fact, I mentioned that Rhonda Byrne was originally inspired by Wallace D. Wattle’s classic The Science of Getting Rich, a book that is nearly 100 years old. I am also aware that LOA ideas are much older than that. Further, despite the fact that I am not a particularly "successful" person and offer no alternatives to the LOA, I am not entirely ignorant. I’ve heard tell of ancient spiritual traditions that promote related ideas, although I don’t really think Buddha taught people how to attract a new car or a mansion. As someone else responded on that discussion thread, "There is a reason Shakyamuni never said 'Food cannot cause you to put on weight, unless you think it can.' There is a reason Krishna never advised people how to use cheap tricks to obtain a diamond necklace. This reason seems to be the Real Secret."

    And, say what you will about the ancient roots of the notion of one's thoughts creating one's reality, there is no denying that viral marketing and other contemporary cultural phenomena made The Secret the astonishing success – and, yes, the contemporary fad – that it is.

More sniping at The Secret
Despite the criticism (which, of course, I’m pretty used to by now), those who have written directly to me have for the most part been very supportive of my "Secretrons" article and have directed my attention to some other small gems. "Anti-guru"
Steve Sashen, for example, was quoted in an article that appeared early this year in the London Free Press. And another writer pointed me to a new parody book, Who Moved My Secret? It looks pretty enlightening to me – more so than the original, to be sure. The parody is by comedy writer Jim Gerard, who also penned Beam Me Up, Jesus: A Heathen’s Guide To The Rapture.

Knowing which way the wind blows
As I predicted, Hurricane Diva
Phoenix, aka Lynn Marks, is claiming to have had a hand in taming the late Hurricane Dean. I just got an email update from the Wind Whisperer the other night.

A group of like-minded, spirit souls - from across America, Jamaica, UK and Australia - met for Prayers and Meditation for Hurricane Dean three times this past weekend. The size of the state of Texas and the 10th largest hurricane ever recorded since the 1850's, Hurricane Dean consistently answered and honored our prayers. First time we met he was on a path to hit the Dominican Republic and Haiti; instead he veered south of the coast. Next the eye of the storm was on a direct course for Kingston, Jamaica and the entire island country. Again our prayers were answered and he moved his 145 mph winds south of the coastline, leaving maximum 80 mph winds and less rain. Now Dean, a Category 5 storm with 155+ mph winds, was forecasted to slam Mexico's Yucatan and densely populated tourist Mayan Riviera cities of Cancun and Cozumel. We started the meditation at 8 pm. At 9:30, sounding rather befuddled, CNN's Anderson Cooper said: "Hurricane Dean's just jogged sort of south." Dean would make landfall in Chetuma, a nature reserve, inhabited mostly by animals. The 3,500 Mayan villagers had been evacuated. And, once again Dean defied predictions, never regaining strength as he crossed to the other side of the Yucatan or threatening Mexico's oil rigs and moving on to northern Mexico or Texas. Instead, just as requested, he returned to the nothing fro [sic], where he came and seemed to simply fizzle away.

I am sure this will be a comfort to the families of the 26 or so folks who lost their lives, and to the hundreds who lost their homes and businesses, as Dean was in the process of returning to the nothing from where he came.

I know what you’re going to say: "Oh, but it could have been a lot worse, Cosmic Connie, if it weren’t for the Prayers and Mediations of all of those like-minded spirit souls!"

Well…okay… maybe you’re right. After all, Spirit Diva was able to get three channeled messages from Hurricane Dean, two of which I quoted the other day. In the third one, he said:

Do not give into what appears to be true.

Stay centered with your higher self, your true spirit self.

See and Feel with God's eyes and heart.

Know that you hold the key to alal [sic] that is.

Even holding an ounce of faith has the power to move mountains as they say

In this case me.

Umm…okay!

By the way, you might be interested in knowing that Spirit Diva communicated with Hurricane Rita a couple of years ago. Rita told her: "MY PURPOSE IS LOVE AND UNIFICATION. I STRIKE A chord for all people who have ever experienced harm or been in harm's way. I melt their resentment and awaken their love center, their compassion and gratefulness...." So perhaps we can also thank Spirit Diva and her helpers (along with Mr. Fire and his helpers, of course), for the fact that Rita turned out to be just another sweet lady hurricane who came into being to teach us humans about "love and unification."

As you might expect, Spirit Diva has communicated with numerous other hurricanes. And they’ve all had some very important messages for us. Oddly enough, that beeyotch Katrina apparently never spoke to S.D. But no matter; S.D. is still doing her part to help the victims of that taciturn but very destructive storm, and will be at the ceremonies in New Orleans August 29 to mark the second anniversary of Katrina’s visit.

"Are you Dreaming now?"
I hate to disappoint you, Dear Ones, but that was not a lead-in to another piece of juicy gossip about
Dreaming-Bear, Maui’s half-naked mystical poet, phony Indian, and resident poseur. Instead, it was the subject line on an email I received from my favorite New-Wage spam service. The message continued, "New DreamMask allows you to change and control your dreams at night... Now you can Dream whatever you like!"

The message continued: "No Kidding – It's Guaranteed to work for YOU. You will know within minutes of taking it out of the box. Imagine the Implications of this!"

The product in question is a kit to facilitate lucid dreaming. Here, as listed in the email, are some of the possible benefits:

  • Grow spritually [sic] at an astounding rate
  • Have more FUN than you can imagine
  • How about Remote Viewing or "Out of Body"
  • Solve problems by talking it over with Einstein, Tesla, Mark Twain or your own hero
  • Finally get relief from harassing nightmares
  • Have romantic encounters like maybe finding a cozy restaurant in Paris with your Dream Date experiencing all the sights, sounds, smells and emotions that go with it! How about Rome or Greece tomorrow night? Or maybe even New Jersey! No...just kidding.
  • And much much more…

And it’s only $250.00 US.

The "Man Behind the Mask" is Bruce Gelerter, CEO of Wellness Tools. Bruce writes:

My experience spans from working on the "Star Wars" projects during the Reagan era to space and ground based Lasers at Allied Corporation which were used for research at Los Alamos Labs and then GE Medical working in Radiology spending a lot of time in hospitals getting to see behind the scenes in patient care and treatments. GE Medical was my last job because after seeing how people weren’t being taken care of properly I made a commitment to myself to use my abilities to design and search for ways to empower people to take their health back.

The first device I designed 12 years ago was the NeuroTrek Digital Pro, which is a microcurrent device capable of changing brain state in just seconds. Then I designed the BioTrue 1000 [only $849.95 US] which is a Galvanic Skin Resistance (GSR) device capable of getting feedback from the body in response to testing for supplements and allergens.

Bruce wants you to know that his inventory of the DreamMask is limited as "we only make only 50 at a time to insure the highest quality so get yours."

And I gotta admit, Bruce has some pretty powerful testimonials for the DreamMask. Well, he has one pretty powerful testimonial anyway. Okay, one testimonial. It’s from a guy named Joe in Colorado. Hey, it’s a start.

It sounds like baloney to me, but…
You may have read about
a guy in Spain, Manuel Maldonado, who is raising some very carefully fed hogs in order to produce a new variety of hoity-toity ham for food snobs. These hams are expected to go for $2,100.00 per leg, which will amount to about $160.00 a pound, making the results of Manuel's labor the most expensive hams in the world. According to this AP article by Amanda Rivkin:

The 2006 Alba Quercus Reserve (as this pricey pork will be known) won't be available until late 2008 and you must buy the whole ham or nothing at all. But that hasn't dissuaded gastronomic Web sites and blogs from buzzing with talk of the farm where it is being produced, likening it to a Mount Olympus of pork.

I guess people have a right to spend their money any way they wish. But why pay $160.00 a pound when there are so many hams we can all enjoy for free?

Sorry, I just had to get one more snipe in...

One more thing before I go: I normally publish comments as soon as I receive them, but if there's a delay in publishing yours, don't worry. Several times over the past couple of weeks I've been having a little bit of trouble receiving the comments through the regular channel (my email account), and have been having actually sign on to Blogger to moderate them. I don't know if this is a glitch in Blogger or Juno, but don't worry; I will get to your comment soon.

And now back to our regularly scheduled work day.

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Happy Anniversary, Hawai’i!

Aloha, Dear Ones! I know that Hawai’ian Week on Whirled Musings has passed, but I just couldn’t let this day go by without acknowledging the 48th anniversary of the day that the Aloha Territory officially became the Aloha State. Although Hawai’i Statehood Day is traditionally observed on the third Thursday of August, which this year fell on August 17, the actual anniversary is August 21, 1959. (I realize that as this post goes to publication this day is almost over – and that, in fact, for those of you in the Other Hemisphere, it’s already August 22, so you’re past Hawai’ian Statehood Day, but work with me, okay?)

If you want a little bit of historical perspective about Hawai’i and don’t feel like reading James Michener’s novel Hawaii (or watching the movie), click here.

Or perhaps you’d rather skip the history but are nonetheless feeling in a Hawai’ian sort of mood. You could sit around and wait for Warner Brothers to finally release the old Hawaiian Eye episodes on DVD (1959 was the Year of Hawai’i in more ways than one). But who knows when WB will finally get around to releasing this gem? Not to worry; there are plenty of things you can do to celebrate the admission of the 50th state in the Union.

For example, why not mix one of those tropical fruity drinks and practice your Boto’o’popopopo cleaning? By the way, the wise Hawai’ian healer who taught this method to me, Dr. Ihavascama Fer Yew, recently told me to tell y’all that for the cleaning to really work, you need to clean out all of your bank accounts and investment accounts and send the proceeds to me. But if you don’t feel like doing that – in other words, if you’ve not quite reached that stage of advanced suckerdom spiritual evolution – that's okay. Sure, I'm a bit disappointed in you, but let me clean on it for a moment... You love me. You thank me. You're sorry. I forgive you.

There. I'm all better. So go ahead and pour yourself that fruity drink. Then click here for a pretty Hawai’ian tune, and go back and relive some of the festive Hawai’ian moments we’ve shared on Whirled Musings over the past several weeks.

And if you really want to get yourself into an Aloha State of mind, pop on over to the blog of one of Maui’s treasures, Dreaming-Bear Kanaan – a man much in love with himself, a libertine disguised as poet, mystic, SHAM-an and fake Native American. D-B seems to be an absolute magnet for impressionable and/or desperate women (and even a faintly disturbed man or two), judging from some of the responses to his blog entries. (While you’re visiting, be sure to take a look at the Google ads on the right-hand side of the blog pages.)

If you just can’t get enough Dreaming-Bear, he will be doing another of his weekly "Teleseminar Communions" on Wednesday, August 22, at 9pm EST / 6pm PST / 3pm Hawaii Standard Time. Never mind that we’re on Daylight Savings Time right now. Here’s a link to last week’s Telecommunion. (Be forewarned: it’s pretty SNAG-gy and sappy. And the host of the program is one of those…er…impressionable-sounding women.)

But if you really, really want to get in a Hawai’ian mood, sign up for the great Holistic Hawai’i Expo that’s coming September 8 & 9. Two of the featured speakers will be Hank Wesselman, Ph.D. and Jill Kuykendall, RPT, who are on a mission to "create transpersonal bridges to facilitate the emergence of a new subculture in the Western world." Wesselman wrote a book that I actually read a few years ago, Spiritwalker. It’s a book in the inspired-hallucinations genre, much like the works of Carlos Castaneda. I’m thinking maybe I need to develop an inspired hallucination. Some deeply wise indigenous person from the remote past or the far future needs to begin visiting me in my dreams. And then I need to discover that I am not in fact dreaming, but that the experiences are very real. The deeply wise one needs to reveal things to me that have never been revealed to another human, or have been revealed, but the other humans were too stupid or stubborn to listen. And then I need to write some books about my experiences and get them published by Hay House...

But back to the Holistic Hawai’i Expo, where Hank and Jill will be speaking about "The Soul Cluster and the Mystical Nature of the Self." Another couple, Doug Hackett and Trish Regan, will expound upon "Sacred Partnership & Planetary Acceleration." Doug and Trish run dolphin retreats in Hawai’i. (I guess the poor dolphins have to have some place to get away from all of those painfully affluent, conspicuously enlightened folks who are so obsessed with our ocean brethren.) Anyway, the Holistic Hawai’i Expo is only a few weeks away, so you’d better sign up now.

Meanwhile, make the most of these final hours of Statehood Day. Do something Aloha-ish. Dare something blogworthy. And don't forget to clean, clean, clean. My cats' litter boxes are still waiting...

PS ~ Hurricane Dean continues to weaken, due no doubt to the diligent efforts of Phoenix The Spirit Diva and her friends. Well, he told us he was just a big lovable hunk of wind.

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

The duke of whirl, the Dean of storms

I am definitely the Law Of Attraction in Action. Mere hours after posting my Saturday snippet about Hurricane Dean, I got an email from the Hurricane communicator herself, Lynn Marks, aka Phoenix, aka Spirit Diva. You'll be relieved to know that she and her helpers are on the job. She wanted me to spread the word to everyone.
As of this writing Hurricane Dean is a Catagory 4 and projected to become a Cat 5. He is headed toward Jamaica. You know our thoughts and feelings create our reality so it's so important to not get caught up in the media coverage of this or other situations. It is important to receognize that as we transform our consciousness we help transform the consciousness of the world. So everytime there is a "moment of crisis" anywhere it is an opportunity for us be more mindful of our own thoughts and feelings. Hurricane Dean is simply a reminder and, from a spiritual perspective, a teacher.
Accordingly, Spirit Diva and friends held a phone meditation Sunday morning at 11:30 EST. Dean also spoke directly to Spirit Diva and told her to spread the word that he's really just a big lovable lug at heart.

A MESSAGE FROM HURRICANE DEAN as channelled through me moments before noon [Saturday, August 18, 2007)

"I bring the message of peace.

"Yes, I look large, ominous and like a real threat, bully if you will.

"Do not believe what you see. I am all heart. I have a large, passionate heart. Like all beings, connecting with my heart, touching me from the inside-out, brings inner peace and transforms my outer behavior.

"Acknowledge me, as all seeming bullies, with love. See me right. Be at Peace. See me right. Respond with the right thoughts and feelings. See me right. Release all judgment.

"I bring the message of peace, the message that no matter what travesties, adversities, threats you have experienced now is the time to...

"See them right. See them with the eyes of the divine. See them with love. Allow the pressure, tension, stress that you have been holding on to - long after the incidents - simply dissolve back into the nothingness that they came from... just as you desire for me.

"All is well. Be Peace. Be your divine being - now."

Here, according to Phoenix, is how you can help neutralize Dean:

  • Simply from your heart center send the highest vibration of love. See and feel it flow through you as green light to the heart of Hurricane Dean.
  • See him spinning clockwise
  • See and feel all around him, through him and in him:green, cool, gentle, calm... ocean, water, rain, breezes, lightness
  • See and feel God's light shining through
  • See and feel Dean take the path of least destruction
  • Bless him and know that all is well.

Also, run from the water, hide from the wind, and stock up on water, non-perishable food items, and D batteries. Just thought y'all would want to know.

PS added at 3:30 PM CST (4:30 PM EST) ~ I just got this in from Spirit Diva:

Our prayers and meditations were heard and Dean has shifted and will continue to shift direction and intensity. At 11 am EST his center was projected to directly hit the entire island country at 145 mph. Currently at 2 pm [EST] he is taking a slightly more southernly direction some 80 miles south-east of Kingston. Your prayers and meditation make a difference.

Spirit Diva channeled Hurricane Dean again immediately before the Sunday morning meditation, and here's what he told her:

Forgive yourself and others. Everything happens as it is meant to be.

I bring a sense of fear, even terror.

Forgive me for that. I am simply a mirror of other things, people, situations, even your own behavior that you have feared in the past, perhaps still do.

My coming is an opportuntiy to release this fear. To be at peace knowing that everyone - even you - was doing the best they knew at the time.

Be gentle. Be forgiving. Be them. Now, from deep in your heart simply open the doors of this anger, fear, resentment. Let it fly out as a dove flies in the blue shy abaove, rising way above and away from you.

See and Feel all that stuff that you have been carrying retrun back to God and be transmuted for a higher purpose under grace.

Be at Peace. This is Healing.

All is well. Forgive from an open, loving heart. you are love.

You are free. You are like the divine dove flying in the blue sky. All is well.

No offense to Dean, and I hope it will not seem that I am being hypercritical, but...although he may be a very nice hurricane, he really is not a very good speller.

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Saturday, August 18, 2007

This crazy, crazy Whirled

As the Gulf Coast holds its breath in apprehension about Hurricane Dean, my thoughts naturally turn to what Lynn Marks (aka Phoenix The Spirit Diva) and her hurricane-communicating compadres are doing about it. So far we’ve had a very tame hurricane season, although parts of Texas are battling flooding from Erin, and I’m guessing that a few hurricane communicators are taking credit for at least some of the lack of destruction. Spirit Diva and pals are in Florida, but we are also fortunate enough to have a group centered in Texas, who were so very helpful when Hurricane Rita threatened us a couple of years ago. They were able to keep Rita from doing serious damage.

I do know this is not a good day to be in Jamaica or Cancun, and by Tuesday or Wednesday of next week it might not be all that good a day to be in Galveston either. Meanwhile, my fellow Houstonians are storming the stores and snatching up all of the bottled water, peanut butter, and D batteries, insuring that there won’t be anything left by the time The Rev and I get there. Oh, well. I’ve got better things to do than stocking up on provisions. I’ve got some snippet-sharing to do.

Bridging the gap between fact and fiction
I’m seeing more and more things that convince me of
something I’ve been saying for many years now: new-age/New-Wage/self-help stuff is appealing for its entertainment value as much as for its potential to actually improve people's lives. Oh, sure, in these trying times people are frightened and uncertain, and many are facing money or health or relationship challenges, and all that. But I maintain that many folks, at least in the more affluent cultures, are also supremely bored with ordinary life. I think this was the case with Victorian spiritualism and occultism (which provided much of the modern groundwork for the New Age). And I believe it is the case today as well.

I see evidence of this ennui everywhere. I see it, for example, in the newest wave of Illuminati-conspiracy hysteria, which focuses on an Internet offering called Zeitgeist: The Movie. Zeitgeist: The Movie is nearly two hours of stuff you’ve probably heard before about the Illuminati, the New World Order, and more. You’d think they could come up with a better title than Zeitgeist but I quibble. Fueling this newest wave of Illumi-noia is an email that is now making the rounds among the conspicuously enlightened and aggressively inspired crowd. Written with a passion bordering on hysteria, the message has a Ho’oponopono twist, the result of the writer having stayed up all night to finish reading Joe Vitale’s new book, Zero Limits.

If you would prefer a little bit of information along with your entertainment, check out the Illuminati perspective offered on the Skepdic site. And if someone forwards a copy of that earnest Zeitgeist-Zero email to you, I suggest answering with a restrained one-word reply: "Yawn."

Far more interesting to me than the ZZ-over-the-top email is a message that came to me yesterday via my favorite New-Wage spam service. This one provided yet more evidence that the gap between reality and sci-fi is ever narrowing. Generally my spam service sends me ads from various individuals and companies, but occasionally they will forward important Public Service Announcements. Um, make that "Planetary Service Announcements."

The PSA that most intrigued me came from one Michael Ellegion, a channeler who does "full-life readings for the Star People and the Lightworkers." Michael, who somewhat resembles a young Richard Simmons, apparently has full access to the Spiritual Hierarchy, which includes some of our favorite players, such as Lord Jesus The Christ; the Archangel Michael; Saint Germain; Zoser the Cosmic Physician of Light;, Voltra the Cosmic Psychotherapist; and, of course, Lord Ashtar, who is in charge of the Ashtar Command of the Galactic Federation. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away…"

Ashtar is apparently the One who tipped off Michael Ellegion about the cause of a recent tragic event in the US.

Here, in part, is Michael’s PSA, which he desires to be widely distributed:

Minnesota Bridge Collapse Caused By Secret Government Acoustic Weapon – And E.T. Response & Intervention!
When the recent collapse of the Minnesota Bridge took place, and as an "open Channel" for the Higher Forces of Light, I will often receive telepathic comments and they Channel to me about what has "gone on behind the scenes" which the Corporate controlled media here in the U.S. will never mention. I wasn’t too surprised, when Ashtar, one of my main contacts from higher Realms, very briefly mentioned that this disaster was in fact caused by some type of "frequency or vibrational [acoustic-psychotronic] technology"--and that I would shortly be receiving more in-depth information concerning this fact.

Of course, I had assumed that this would come either in the form of some kind of "revelation" from someone who had connections with "shadow government" levels, as what is often referred to as "Intel black-ops" and/or more in-depth, channeled information from Ashtar and our Friends Upstairs who surround Earth in Guardian Action.

Also, since I knew that the Cosmic Elohim Masters of Light, many who are members of the Ashtar Command and the Universal Federation, had been recently clamping down upon the world power elite or the "puppet Masters" behind the scenes, by making it very clear to them that they were not going to allow anymore use of nuclear or biological weapons (see my other Posting, "E.T.’s Divine Intervention Stops Nuclear & Biological Attacks!") I knew that any form of technology that is destructive to nature and life on this planet, no matter what form that technology came in, would also ultimately be stopped and neutralized as well.

I, of course, was not specifically, consciously thinking about some of the more "exotic" forms of energy or acoustic, (also often referred to as "psychotronic") weapons systems, which I have actually studied quite in-depth for a number of years, partly because I had met literally dozens of former (and not so former) ex-intelligence agents, many who had been involved in the development of this very technology. In a few cases, I met some former "black-ops" who were actually involved in forms of "psychic assassination" in which the use of "psychic deadly force" was actually used--or rather ATTEMPTED--to be used against Lightworkers like myself, to do away with those of us whose missions are to help expose such types of technologies. This would help to eliminate them when more people became aware of their existence and how they have been used mostly for destructive-military utilization, such as control and manipulation of the population, whether it is in the form of weather modification, mind control, or in the physical destruction of life and the WEAKENING OF PHYSICAL OR MATERIAL STRUCTURES.

I knew personally, in a very horrific way, what these types of acoustic or psychotronic weapons systems are capable of doing to a person or a physical object. In my case, I have shared my experience that occurred in 1979 with others who have connected with me in personal Transformational Channeled sessions that I do for fellow Lightworkers, Star People, and thru my workshops and classes. In that experience the psych-ops targeted me with such a psychotronic weapon and literally ended up killing me by ripping the life force out of my body. Our Friends Upstairs physically beamed me up aboard one of the Merkabah Light Ships of the Ashtar Command, where they brought me back to life by putting the Life Force back in me.

There are no words that can describe how horrible this "spiritual violation" initially was when I was first suddenly being attacked, but I fell unconscious, and then died from this attack. The Higher Forces took me aboard and brought me back to life in the wonderful and exquisite, higher Dimensional Bliss of their very loving and healing presence. They very powerfully took away all my trauma and altered my own DNA/RNA so that I would not be as vulnerable to such an attack in the future. They explained the importance of the old adage, "God helps those who help themselves."

Turns out that the DNA alteration was not just to protect Michael from further attacks, but to aid him in performing a new type of channeled readings. His mission changed following his transformation; rather than doing the karmic types of readings for which he’d been trained, henceforth he was to protect and empower fellow Lightworkers/Volunteers who, like himself, were on missions to prepare the Earth for its Ascension. His new role is "Cosmic Telephone Line" or Deep Voice Channel, and his job is to do transformational readings that will pass on to others the psychic immunity that was given to him by those he refers to as "our Friends Upstairs."*

During his own transformational experience, Michael learned that Higher Beings are intervening in Earthly affairs:

While aboard this Merkabah Light Ship, I was informed that the Ashtar Command, while continuing to orbit Earth in Guardian Action, was also specifically monitoring all kinds of these exotic psychotronic and acoustic black-op technologies, and that eventually they would all be neutralized.

Under Federation policies the use of any weapons, whether it be nuclear, biological or types of energy technology, if used against life in destructive ways, they would be stepping in more and more to ultimately stop this technology from ever being used again.

To get back to this recent disaster of the Minnesota bridge collapse, it was not surprising, when a couple days later, a friend of mine, Patrick Hansen, who has helped sponsor me for workshops about the Spiritual Masters, sent me an e-mail, which did, specifically refer to this situation, regarding how and why the Minnesota Bridge was brought down by the shadow government with this more exotic form of energy weapon system, and I will now quote part of his e-mail, since it is quite interesting and confirms my initial Attunement from our Friends Upstairs...

The email in question quoted an article by noted alarmist Sorcha Faal. Here’s a link to the article.

Recently, Michael Ellegion received another channeled transmission from Lord Ashtar regarding the Minnesota bridge tragedy, and other tragedies that have made the headlines:

"Greetings in the Light of our Radiant One, this is Ashtar, wanting to not only confirm what you had been told very briefly the other day regarding the use of an acoustic energy system that was used and focused upon the Minnesota Bridge.

"But I want to also confirm, as you were feeling, Michael, that yes, the loss of life that did occur, would have definitely been much, much greater, had our own higher energy systems of Protection aboard the Merkabah Light Ships not been active. You have often referred to our ship’s "Holographic Crystal Computer hooked into the GodHead," that monitors and can in less than a millionth of a second (if it even takes that long!) go into an instant Activation and Protection sequence. This provides Divine Intervention to as many souls as possible, preferably to save their lives, or if their consciousness is not high enough on the ‘Energy-Consciousness Meter’, we at least will quickly free the soul from the physical body that is about to go thru horrific trauma in the next instant, which will allow them to pass from the physical world.

"As you know, this is the same system we used when we Divinely Intervened behind-the-scenes during 9-11, so that while we were able to physically beam up, aboard the Mothership, almost two thirds of those 3,000 people that were trapped within the two World Trade Buildings. However, for a little over a third of the people, it was necessary to just remove their souls from their physical bodies and we took up their etheric bodies instead, as each of the two buildings started to collapse. And, as you know were blown up from within, as an "inside job" by the shadow government/corrupt Bush administration, by therminite secretly placed there, being ignited. It was not the temperature of the jet fuel causing the extreme temperature levels or that the two remote controlled planes initially hitting the two towers, had caused them to collapse.

"As I Channeled to you about how we have been in Guardian Action around this planet for many years monitoring the actions of those in positions of power.

"We recently, one more time, stopped the launching of nuclear missiles, this time against Iran, as we also did with the earlier Intervention to stop any hostilities between India and Pakistan from engaging in such barbaric extremes while helping Overshadow the political tensions and diplomatic solutions were the outcome. So, too, we are making it very clear once more, that any--and we mean ANY TYPE of destructive use of weapons, whether it be nuclear, biological--or Energy weapon systems such as that which was targeted at the bridge, will not be tolerated--that type of technology also comes under Federation Laws, referred to as the Galactic Pacts. Such technologies as were used against the Minnesota bridge, especially when loss of life will be involved is specifically forbidden, and from now on, any attempt to use such technologies will have very instant "karmic repercussions" against those individual(s) who knowingly engage in such attempts.

"As we have stated many times, it is not we, the Guardians of Light, the Rainbow Warriors, who orbit around this planet in Guardian Action that will, ourselves, do anything personally as in ‘retaliation’ toward those forces who will ATTEMPT to use such destructive systems and energies against other forms of life. It is just that the way that the Creative Energy forces of the very universe itself, will not allow this activity or behavior to be engaged in. Such negative action causes a REACTION inherent within the very energies of life force that is in harmony to the Divine Creation itself, the Divine Blueprint of life, and such actions will be quickly neutralized.

"Those forces involved in such actions will be "Recycled thru the GodHead" so that they will no longer be able to interfere with the forces engaged in life enhancing behavior and that which is in harmony to all life.

"And finally, I wish to state, as mentioned earlier, there definitely would have been a much greater loss of life had we not Intervened, and we will continue to do so, as we get closer to what some have referred to as ‘First Contact’ or what I have always referred to as the ‘Secret Wave of Evacuation’ that sets in motion the other three following waves of Evacuation/overt planetary Divine Intervention. As I often mention to help remind those of you who I have also had the honor to Channel through, as I have this Channel, it is important to remember, you who are here in Earth embodiment as Volunteers on missions, are still members of our Highest Counsels, and your presence upon Earth is to also give us Authority, by your own awareness and knowledge of these hidden activities of the power elite.

The knowledge of their activities, we can always FORGIVE them for what they HAVE DONE, but we must not allow them to RUN RIPSHOD OVER YOU IN ANY FORM WHATSOEVER, NO MATTER WHAT THAT COULD OR MIGHT BE!!!!. It is truly time to put a halt to such destructive activities, and so it shall be.

"As I always emphasize, use your Inner Discernment, my brothers and sisters of Earth, listen to your I Am Presence. Know that your own wisdom and knowledge of these technologies and activities as THE GUARDIANS THAT YOU ALL ARE, and your petitions and votes through our Councils in turn give us GREATER AUTHORITY TO STEP IN-- EVEN IN THE MOST ‘MUNDANE" SITUATIONS AND BRING ORDER OUT OF CHAOS for all concerned. Blessings to you all! Stay alert, yes, be the Guardians of your Freedoms, as my friend, St. Germain often states. In so being, your responsible Light attunement transmutes the very attempts of such destructive behavior, and instead, evokes powerful life-enhancing solutions for the use of such technologies to only be used in healing--and Transformation will be the end result. Ashtar signing off. As always, Keep Your Eyes On the Skies! Adonai Vassu Berogus!"

Well, that’s comforting, isn’t it?

Or maybe it’s slightly disturbing, when you consider the fact that the people who believe in this stuff walk freely among us…

The game’s afoot
I keep getting these email ads for
foot detox patches. I don’t know if the Universe is trying to tell me something or not, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay nearly thirty bucks for ten foot patches (MSRP is $29,95, though they’re available for $24.00 on Amazon). And that's not for ten pairs – it's for ten individual foot patches. At bedtime, you are supposed to stick them on the soles of your feet, which contain key reflexology points, and the pads draw toxins out of your body. When you take them off the next day, they’re supposed to be grossly but satisfyingly gunky. That gunk is all of the toxic residue that the patches sucked out of your body.

Naturally, some people are raving about these things. Others are more skeptical, such as this guy from Kansas who really wanted the pads to work.

Please, no testimonials. Every company in this business has plenty of those. But actual lab results? I have found none and I REALLY looked. And I REALLY wanted these to work to remove the toxicity that was causing me so much pain, but that was finally alleviated by a doctor diagnosing me with Wilson's Syndrome. [See my note below.~CC] I was put on armour thyroid. My metabolism began to work again and detox my body naturally. These pads are like many things. If they truly make you feel better then, by all means, use them. But I know of no scientific evidence that proves they draw out toxicity and I have simulated the process that generates the brown gunk you think is toxicity from your body. Take one pad and put a corner of it into salt water heated to body temperature. You'll have the brown gunk within minutes.
Granted, the American Thyroid Association has decided that Wilson's Syndrome is not in fact a real disease. But apparently this guy was helped by thyroid supplementation anyway. And his main point is certainly valid.

I particularly enjoyed a post from the blog of a
skeptic in Southern Africa. The blogger was writing about a different brand of foot pads, but the claims are almost identical, and the makers apparently are advertising that their pads help boost the immune system as well. Given that the AIDS epidemic is nearly out of control in some parts of Africa, such claims go beyond being silly. They are, at best, egregiously irresponsible.

My initial thought was that the marketers of this nonsense assume that we are just gullible but the more I think about the hints about boosting your immune system the angrier I become. Don’t forget people like Mantho Tshabalala-Msimang, the Minister of Health in South Africa who recommends beetroot as a remedy for AIDS? It was also Tshabalala-Msimang who at one point circulated around her Ministry a pamphlet explaining how the CIA and aliens were behind the pandemic...

...Sometimes the detoxing we need is not of our bodies, but of our brains.

I know that numerous wholistic healers and chiropractors in the US are doing foot detox therapy on their patients these days, using not patches but a "spa treatment." The fact that the "spa" ends up full of gross gunk has apparently made true believers out of many. But I wonder if any of the patients who give glowing testimonials have asked to see studies or scientific data, or if they've asked if the chiro or other practitioner has experimented with immersing something – anything – besides a person's feet into the "spa treatment." My guess is that anyone who tried such an experiment would end up with a pan full of gunk similar to that resulting from soaking one's feet. I've seen the testimonials in which people swear that the gunk varies from person to person, so there has to be something going on... but whether what is going on is "detox" or just a thorough sole-cleaning remains to be seen.

Well, as long as it brings the money in...

This is satire?
Steve Salerno linked to this piece in The Onion. Like all good satire, this piece is nearly indistinguishable from that which it satirizes. This one describes hustledork culture in a nutshell. And it reminds me of what my friend Tony recently said about New-Wage hustledorks. He said that those who tell (possibly exaggerated) stories about how they were once poverty-stricken and homeless remind him of some rap stars who grew up in middle-class circumstances but tell contrived "tales from the hood" in order to gain street cred. These days, the life story you tell doesn’t have to be true – just marketable.

Still more Hustledork Cinema…
Speaking of Tony, he recently alerted me to both
a moviemercial trailer and a discussion thread about said moviemercial. This moviemercial is apparently so bad that even some of the Secretrons find it distasteful.

At least this one, Pass It On, seems to have a marginally altruistic message, rather than merely encouraging narcissism and greed. Even so, it’s much ado about little, and the dancing at the end of the trailer is painful to watch. Very painful.

Well, that’s it for now. And isn’t that enough? I promised you snippets and gave you a great big heaping helping of New-Wage table scraps. You always get more than your money's worth here at Whirled Musings (though I suspect you could probably have done without the foot-patch bit). Anyway, the Rev and I are getting ready to pack it up and go spend the evening in the company of our dear friends Bill and Kathleen. See you tomorrow or Monday!

* I wonder if, by "our friends upstairs," Michael E. is referring to those bats in the belfry.

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Thursday, August 16, 2007

Magnum Dopus: Hustledork Cinema lives on

Okay, it's not The Secret that will give you the ultimate answers.

And it's not tapping, a la Emotional Freedom Techniques.

I've just found out about a movie that will finally tell you what will really, really work.

It's... it's.... it's.... The Opus, soon to be released on DVD and distributed on a web site near you. The Opus is the brainchild of a young New-Wage capitalist named Douglas J. Vermeeren. For anyone who thought the New Wage was the sole province of baby boomers, young Doug should put that thought to rest. Doug apparently has discovered the formula for success. He calls it the "Four P" formula, although in this interview on Canadian television he seems to mention more than four P's. (Initial mention of the the Four (or more)-P Formula occurs at about 3:38 in this clip.)

Here's The Opus main site.

And it wouldn't be truly New-Wage without a built-in money op. The good news is that you, too, can make a bundle from this great movie. At least you can make some money for its producers and "stars." In any case, it's for the higher good. Here's how to become a distributor.

But it's really not about the money. Okay, yes it is. But it's also about becoming "the best, biggest, most incredible, abundant and spectacular YOU possible." It is a "spectacular follow-up to the Law Of Attraction" that shows you, once and for all, how to turn your intentions into achievements.

It's truly "the next step."

Don't believe me?

Well, ask Secret star Joe Vitale.

Or ask another Secret star, John DeMartini.

Or ask Chicken Soup For The Soul co-creator Jack Canfield or his co-hort Mark Victor Hansen
(he who was so rude to SHAMblog's Steve Salerno on TV a couple of years ago).

Would these fine folks lie to you?

But seriously, now, I really do have to wonder: where do these guys find the energy to get so over-the-top excited about EVERY new scheme that comes down the pike?
And do they ever get burned out hearing themselves get so excited? More to the point: are they acting, or are they just on some really good drugs that I don't know about?

PS - If you listen to Mark Victor Hansen's plug, you might hear an unwitting hint that The Opus isn't the be-all and end-all after all. It sounds as if he starts off by saying, "Opus means "the penultimate..." Or maybe he said, "penultima," but that word means "the next to the last syllable in a word." So maybe he's just throwing words around because he thinks they sound impressive.

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